Gone are the days when the duties of father and mother of the groom were limited to only hosting the rehearsal dinner and showing up at the wedding. Now, the time has changed and the groom’s parents are contributing financially too in the wedding. Also, they are very much ready to take up additional wedding planning responsibilities and inputs. Meaning, they are becoming the major part of their son’s wedding and are trying to make themselves available in almost all aspects.
The Mother of the Groom should host a shower in honor of her future daughter-in-lawNow this is where groom’s mother plays an important role. If the family and the couple don’t live in the same town then, the mother of the groom should host a shower in honor of her future daughter-in-law. However, the guest should not necessarily be too many but the bride’s mother should be invited.
The Father and the Mother should plan and host the rehearsal dinnerThe father and the mother of the groom traditionally have to host the rehearsal dinner, which includes choosing the venue for the rehearsal dinner, preparing the guest list, sending the invites via email, finalizing the menu and any other favors. As the father and the mother of the groom are evening’s hosts, they should speak with people who are going to make a speech just to confirm if any audio-visual requirement is there.
Give a must-take photo list to the couple in advance and order albums and DVDs (if any)The father or the mother of the groom should make sure that he/she gives the couple a list of a few family photos that they would like to have on the wedding day, and which all relatives or friends should be included in large family shots. Ensure that who so ever be the father or the mother of the groom is taking care of must-take photo list, they should send the list to the photographer one week prior to the wedding. As, last minute additions are chaotic and can mess up the flow of the event. Also, the parents of the groom should tell the couple in advance if they want to order a parent’s album or DVD of the wedding video so that the same can be added in the contract with the photographer and videographer, and included in the photographer’s payment as later it will be costly.
Let the Groom and the Bride should know the traditions of the family in advanceIt is the duty of the father and the mother of the groom to let the couple know in advance about all the family traditions so that if they want to add some traditions in the wedding or reception it can be done. Also, if the couple wants to add any ritual to their wedding ceremony or wedding reception program, the father and the mother of the groom should proofread the description to ensure that everything mentioned is correct.
The Father and the Mother of the Groom should walk down the ceremony aisle and take their seatsIn Christian wedding, the father and the mother of the groom have very important roles during the wedding ceremony, hence, they should walk down the aisle together and be seated in the front row on the right side. Whereas, at a Jewish wedding, the father and the mother of the groom walk with him in the processional and they have to stand next to him under the chuppah.
Stand in the receiving line with the coupleIf the couple decides to greet their guests by having a receiving line, the father and the mother of the groom should stand with the couple and their new in-laws. Whereas, in girl’s wedding, the order will be like this: the father and the mother of the bride, followed by the happy couple, and finally the father and the mother of the groom.
Sit at the parents tableIf at the wedding reception, dedicated parents table are arranged then, both set of parents should sit at that table, along with the officiant and his or her spouse, if they’re invited at the reception. Also, the grandparents of the couple should sit at the same table where parents are sitting. The couple can either sit with their parents, or somewhere else. However, both set of parents may choose to sit at separate tables with their close family members or friends.
Be the Dancing PartnersIn a traditional parent dance sequence, the groom and his mom will be the dancing partners. And together they should decide the song they will perform dance on the wedding reception, they can choreograph the dance if need be. Similarly, the father of the groom can ask his new daughter-in-law to dance during the reception.
Be available to helpIt is very important that you are available at all points to help your son in his wedding preparations, be it financial or planning duties or both. As the father and the mother of the groom, make sure that the happy couple knows that you’re available to help at all points from pre-wedding preparation to post-wedding celebration including all the major ceremonies.
Here are some of the duties to be undertaken by Groom’s father and mother on their son’s wedding:
► Meeting the in-laws for the first time
This is crucial, yes, the first step of any wedding is the meeting of two families formally. And, if the parents of the couple haven’t met with each other formally, one of the family member be it father or the mother of the groom should contact the girl’s family and invite them over dinner, or maybe for some outing, or for some formal get together wherein the families can meet and can get to know each other well. Also, if the groom’s father or the mother want they can even invite the entire family of the girl, which includes her siblings and grandparents.
► Spreading the news of their Son’s engagement and telling where they’re registered
Since their son’s engagement is a proud moment for any parents. Hence, the father and the mother of the groom are excited with the news and now they are all set to share the good news with all the relatives, close family members and friends. There are various means to spread the good news with the people who mean something to you such as by makings personal calls to all of them (the process will take a lot of time and chances are some people may be missed), updating a Facebook page (it is a great way as almost everyone is on FB), or sending emails and texts to the loved ones.
However, when the parents will call people to tell about the engagement, chances are many friends and relatives can ask where the couple is registered. In such a situation the father and the mother of the groom can point them to the wedding registry, as well as to the couple’s website once it is live. Also, the most important step before sharing the news with others is to ask the newly-engaged couple’s whether to share the news on social media or not, as some couples want to keep their engagement private for a while.
► Groom’s Father and Mother should talk to the couple and their in-laws clearly about their duties and finances responsibilities at their wedding
It is important that both sets of parents along with the couple should discuss the wedding related matters clearly. The monetary matters like who will contribute how much and what everyone will take care, everything should be clear between all of them so as to avoid any extra expense later. The expenses which can be covered by the father and the mother of the groom are: officiant’s fee, the wedding rings, the bride’s bouquet, marriage license, the DJ or the music, boutonnieres and corsages for the immediate family, liquor at the reception and the honeymoon of the couple. Also, not to mention that the groom’s parents will host the rehearsal dinner.
► Know from the couple your duties and responsibilities in their wedding planning
It is very important that the father and the mother of the groom ask the couple their duties and responsibilities or how can they help, or how the couple want them to be involved in the wedding planning process. There are many ways for the father and the mother of the groom to get involved in the wedding planning process such as taking care of vendors, choosing and talking with vendors, or planning the wedding event, or finding the wedding photographer, or maybe researching the wedding venue etc. It is up to couple what duty or responsibility they assign their parents for their wedding.
► Prepare a guest list of the family and friends, and call for late RSVPs
Initially it is important that the couple decide how many people will be invited in the wedding all in all. Once that is done, the father and the mother of the groom should also know how many people they can invite from their friends. Now the father and the mother can prepare a guest list of family and friends, make sure no extra person is added, then take the email addresses of all the members to be invited in a spreadsheet format. So that it becomes easy for the couple to mail save-the-date cards and the wedding invitation to the guests. If some guests do not send back their reply on the RSVP date, the duty of the father of the groom is to send an email or make a call to his guest to know whether they are accepting the invitation or sending regrets.
► Take referrals from friends and relatives for venue and the vendors
If the parents have been assigned the duty of managing vendors and researching a venue for the wedding then they should ask around for referrals from friends and family who have recently got wed-locked or planned a wedding. Also, the theme, the style, the choice, the preferences and the budget of the wedding should be considered while finding the vendors. Once the father and the mother of the groom get some details, the same should be updated to the couple.
► Help to select bride’s gown
The mother of the groom should ask the bride to-be if she wants any help to select her wedding gown. If the son’s partner wants the groom’s mother help then surely she should help bride to-be in selecting her perfect wedding gown for her special day.
► Ask the mother of your son’s bride to-be what she’s wearing on the wedding
Once the couple is done with the wedding’s style and formalities, now the mother of the groom should select her dress after the formalities of the wedding are selected. Also, it is important that before shopping for her own wedding-day look, as a mother of the groom it is her responsibility to ask the mother of her son’s partner about what is she wearing on the wedding day, so that their dresses can complement and are not matching.
► The father of the groom should go with his son’s wedding-day look
Well, the father of the groom while picking his outfit for the wedding , should consider his son’s suit or tuxedo. As, the father of the groom he should wear what his son is wearing on his wedding. However, it is important that the groom’s father see that his attire do not match with the groomsmen. Also, he should customize his suit or tuxedo by opting for a tie or other accessories.
