It may seem that people who have their marriage failed once will never marry again. Many divorcees think the same. Still, three-quarters of divorced Americans end up getting married at least one more time.
A new marriage is a serious step for any divorcee. It is another chance to become happy, learn from previous mistakes and build up stronger relationships. That is why marriage after a recent divorce should be taken into account with care and thorough preparation.
Discover possible reasons to commit to a new marriage, follow the tips to prevent another divorce, and create a steady family life eventually.
Why Marry Again
Although people after divorce are usually scared to create new relationships straight after their previous mishap in the marriage field, they typically overcome fears and try out their luck again and again. There are many reasons for getting a divorced person to marry again, and here are the common ones:
Love is the reason – falling in love is a crucial cause to commit to marriage again. And you are really lucky if you manage to find your true love and are ready to spend your whole life with your true soulmate. Still, there is no need to rush here. You should wait to test your feelings and relationships with time and challenges before you bond yourself with your beloved partner in a life-long union.
You want it– when dating someone after divorce for enough time to understand that you want to spend the rest of your life with your partner, then go on and get married. If it is not because of the need to have someone to cheer you up, drag you out from the post-divorce depression, or just not to feel lonely, but due to a sincere wish to spend life with this very person, then you have a reason to marry your partner.
Give-receive relationship – another reason to get married after a divorce, and the sign that you are ready for such a step is your readiness for give-receive relationships. This means that you are over with your past, that you have healed the wounds of your previous marriage, that you have taken care of your personal insecurities and fears. So this means that you are to care about your partners and new family and commit to new relationships fully.
It’s not about sex – the physical part of relationships is important; still, bright sexual life with your current partner should not be the only reason to get married. There has to be something beyond, such as care, trust, commitment, and support from both sides.
Compatible financial statuses – financial issues are often the reasons for family arguments and marriage disorders. So, if there is financial compatibility between partners, it is one of the primary reasons to get married. There is no trouble if you have different financial statuses. The main thing is, to be honest about your finances, custody, any kind of obligations, debts, and so on. If both of you feel normal about money issues of each other, then this is a green light for your relationships to move on to a new level.
Approval from the dearest – if you trust your closest friends and relatives, listen to their opinions on your partner. Approval from your dearest is a serious turn-on to marry a person you date since they can see you happy and fit each other from the side.
It is normal if you don’t want to get married anymore. You receive serious damage from your previous relationships, so no one will disapprove of you if you decide to stay on your own. On the contrary, there is no shame if you want to get married again. It is not like you betray someone or something. You are a free person and deserve to try out your happiness again as many times as you need.
How to Make the Next Marriage Better
If you found a serious reason and have a strong desire to get married again, you’d better get prepared thoroughly. This will help you avoid common mistakes and prevent another marriage failure. Look through the following tips to commit to your next marriage:
Investigate legal issues – sort out all the legal details from both sides before you decide to get married again. It may count local regulations about waiting time after divorce before you set to the next marriage, custody, alimony, the reasons behind the previous divorce, and so on. Once everything is set to clear, you can only fully trust your partner and talk about the official step in your relationship.
Consider kids’ feelings – if you are ready to move on and introduce a new person to your family, your children may still not be prepared to accept a stepparent. All the children hope that their parents will love each other again and their family will rejoin. So, give your children time to realize the state of things after your divorce before you overwhelm them with another great change in their lives. On the contrary, if it is you who is to be a stepparent, you need to put in decent efforts as well. Gather patience and tolerance, and don’t expect your stepchildren to love you from the very beginning. You will have to do your best to create respectful relationships full of kindness and support but not a set of disciplinary principles only.
Build healthy and respectful relationships– relationships between you and your partner should be based on trust, transparency, respect, forgiveness, and gratitude. Be ready to come to terms with your partner’s flaws, notice little good deeds, express your appreciation and love regularly.
Share and care – serious relationships are about caring for each other’s wellness. So, before you get married, learn to take care of each other, be open to listen and support, and sacrifice your time to make your partner feel better.
Be ready for ups and downs – even if you take the best measures to organize your new relationships in the most efficient way, it doesn’t guarantee a cloudless family life. If you are a great fit, you will have a good time and create happiness together. Still, there will be times of challenges and minor and bigger arguments. Don’t freak out and hurry to quit the relationship. But take all patience and understanding to sort out your issues, learn from your mistakes, and end up with even stronger bonds.
Try out family therapy – if you know that you may have some relationship issues because of insecurities or failures in the previous marriage, it is better to get professionals to assist you as early as possible. Try out family therapy to sort out all the troubles and ambiguous cases at the very beginning so that you can build on your relationships without any obstacles later.
Marriage after divorce is not going to be an easy case anyway. Both partners may have unsuccessful pasts and failures that may seem to doom your new relationships. Your task is to find the powers and time to get prepared thoroughly, commit to your partnership, cope with your past and move on to well-organized and trustworthy relations.
