Wow…That’s really wonderful, you are getting married and now it’s time to visit your in-laws. Well, when brides to-be plan to meet or visit them for the first time, they are mostly scared and so many thoughts keep coming in mind, like how will they take me?How will they treat me? Whether they will like me or not? All these thought are normal, and being nervous to visit them is also part of the process.
Still, brides to-be there are some basic steps you can follow while you visit your in-laws place for the first time. If you also want to know the Do’s and Don’ts of visiting your in-laws for the first time, then here’re best tips for all the brides to-be to navigate those first delicate in-law encounters…
1. Dress yourself properly
First thing first, when you plan to visit your in-laws for the first time make sure you dress yourself properly. You may have an ultra-modern dressing style, but you never know whether your in-laws also admire the same or not. Especially when you are from some Asian countries these things matters a lot. Hence, it is crucial to dress up properly.
2. Meet them with smile
When you visit them do carry your smile with you. It is crucial when you meet your in-laws you meet them with a nice smile. Your smile can do wonders, if you don’t know that!!
3. Go with a gift
When I say this it simply means when you visit someone’s place it is good you go with some gift or a bouquet. Meeting your in-laws with a gift will make things easier and comfortable. In some cultures it is considered an important part of meeting. If they have small kids in the family, make sure you get some chocolates or toys for the kids in the family. It is a nice way to connect with people. Flowers and decent wine or some sweets will be a good choice.
4. Treat them with respect
Respect is important, especially when you meet your elders it is essential that you respect them. Maybe yours is a love marriage and you know your in-laws very well, and possible that they may not be happy with the relation. But now you are engaged to their son and things might have changed. Meet them with respect and don’t carry old grudges with you while you meet them. In fact, try to start afresh with them.
5. Treat your fiance with respect in front of them
You two may have been great friends for long, but no parents especially guy’s parents will like you are teasing, insulting, or disrespectful to their son in front of them. You two may have different kind of chemistry but others may not like that chemistry. So, it is better you treat their son with respect when you are there in front of them.
6. Thank them for making time to meet you
When you meet them at their place make sure you thank them. Being grateful for small little things can be life changing for everyone anytime.
7. Admire their place
If you really like something at their home, like some show piece, or their living room décor, or anything at their home. Do admire their home décor, they will like it and it could turn out to be a nice ice breaker for that matter.
8. Take interest in their hobbies
You may have different hobbies altogether, but there is no problem to take interest in your in-laws hobbies for some time. It will help you build strong connect with them. Sometimes people miss to make a good connection because they ignore small things. Remember, small things matters the most.
9. Do love their dog
If your in-laws have dog at their home and you specifically don’t like dog, please, please do not let your emotions come out. Just settle yourself and try to friend with their dogs. You might know or not, but the truth is most animal lovers like when you love their animals also. And if you don’t, then it can be just the start of the problems or glitch. So, there is no harm in patting and fondling the little member of the family.
10. Speak courteously to their servants
Yes, it is crucial that you treat their servants also kindly. Politeness and good manners go a long way, and everything matters. It will leave a good impression on them, and they will understand that you are a nice and kind person.
11. Admire your mother-in-laws cooking skills
Whether you like the food or not, do not just tell them upfront. Be polite and kind to them, tell them that you liked the food. Maybe your food choices and their preferences doesn’t match, but it is crucial that you are not blunt.
12. Taste everything that is been served
Whether you like the fruitcake or not, eat it. Remember that it is your first visit to their place and they should feel good in your company. Do not throw any tantrums in front of them. Be polite and well mannered.
13. Give suggestions and not decisions
There is a likelihood that the topic of wedding and wedding preparations come up. Be sure that you give your suggestions and not force your advice. It’s always good to put forward your suggestions and opinions, but one should always avoid to force decisions.
14. Respect their suggestions and opinions
Possible that during the discourse your in-laws may give some suggestions and opinions for your wedding, respect their suggestions. Your expressions should say it more than your words. Sometimes, girls say something but their expression say something else. So, it is crucial that your expression and your words are matching. Of course you don’t have to take every advice, but showing them you are interested in your in-laws’ point of view will help you have a better connect.
15. Participate in conversation
When you are there make sure you participate in the conversation, rather to seek time with your fiance. Let your in-laws know that you are there to meet them. They will feel happy if you will participate in conversation with them. They will surely like it.
16. Don’t raise any controversial subject
It matters that you do not raise any controversial subject in front of them. Make sure that the subject or topics you talk are all casual and normal. Like, how long you have been living here? You have really maintained your garden well etc. Anything which is casual can be taken up.
17. Don’t ask to borrow anything
It is crucial that you don’t ask to borrow anything, especially money. In fact, even if you like something there so much, do not just ask for it. It will appear like you have been nosing around their assets or things.
18. Do not smoke there
If you are into smoking, make sure you avoid smoking in front of your in-laws. Of course no in-laws will like their daughter in-law smoking in front of them.
19. Be choosy while you start your sentence
Make sure you don’t start your sentences with, ‘Have you ever thought of…’ especially when it is related to their home arrangements or repositioning of their sofa, TV, etc., or home décor.
20. Don’t talk about their relatives
Avoid talking or mentioning about their relatives, even if you know something bad about them. It is humble to avoid any such topic in your first meeting.
21. Go easy on the booze
Getting drunk in your first meeting with them will be a worst idea. So, it is crucial that you go easy on the booze. Don’t just grab the wine bottle from the table and topup your own glass. Your fiancé may know about your drinking habit, but not necessary that your in-laws will like it especially when you are meeting for the first time.
22. Mind your table manners
Mostly people notice your table manners, so it is essential you maintain them when you are there eating with your in-laws.
23. Don’t brag about anything
You may have a bigger house then theirs, don’t just boast about it. You may have a better location then them, don’t just boast about it. You may have better dog then them, don’t brag about your dog in front of them. Instead, be kind to them.
24. Don’t misunderstand their light jokes or personal comments
During your discourse, you may find some personal comments are coming up. But you don’t need to take those personal comments personally. In fact, take them lightly, understand that they are on as edge as you are, and perhaps they are just trying to be jolly and funny with you.
25. Don’t brag about your family
It is important that you don’t brag about your family in front of them, they may feel bad about it. Though there is no problem in talking about your families, but bragging may spoil a relationship which is in the initial stage of growth.
26. Don’t make complaints
Even if you don’t like something, make sure you do not complaint about things there. For an instance, their cab arrived late to pick you up and you as usual started complaining about it in front of the family. It is crucial that you maintain your temperament and your patience there. Understand, things happen and sometimes things go wrong because of any reason, not necessarily deliberately.
27. Appreciate their arrangements
Possible you might have to stay there overnight or maybe for two-three days. They must have arranged for your accommodation. Please appreciate their arrangements instead of making complaints about the bed or room. It is perfectly fine if you accommodation is smaller than your room at your home. Admire them for their efforts.
28. Don’t stress yourself too much
While you are at your in-laws place, it would be wonderful to become friendly to your in-laws, and develop a congenial relationship with them. So, better you don’t stress too much, when you are there.
29. Invite your in-laws to visit your place
While you are planning to leave their place, make sure you invite them to your place too. It is a nice gesture to be grateful to them and convey them that you want them to visit your place too. If you do so, they will feel glad.
30. Don’t be overly concerned about your fiance in front of your in-laws
When you are there make sure you do not show over concern for your fiance. Be natural, if you will be overly concerned for your fiance in front of his family, it will be a bit awkward for everyone.
31. Do miss to admire their garden while
Make sure you don’t miss to admire their garden, it will make them feel happier.
Know that there is no second chance for the first impression. Hence, it is crucial that you leave positive impact on your in-laws in your first meeting, to have a good connect with them. Therefore you make sure you play your cards right!! Happy Meeting with your in-laws…
You can also read more on Tips for Grooms to be: First visit at In-Laws place.
Happy First Meeting with your in-laws…