16 Reasons why couples divorce after 20 years of marriage

why couples divorce

Getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage is very tough to accept, but it happens. Recent research in the US suggests that divorce rates have been decreasing for the last two decades, but the rate of couples in their 50s and above is very high. The research also suggested that the divorce rate in couples who are in their 50s and above has doubled since 1990. These findings indicate that divorce after 20 years of marriage is becoming more common in the United States.

⇒ It is a matter of concern and a lot of questions come up, like why are people getting divorced after 20 years of marriage?

⇒ Why are marriages failing after 20 years?

⇒ How to call for a divorce after 20 years?

Getting divorced after 20 years is unimaginable and also brings many thoughts to your mind, like: am I really leaving my partner after 20 years? But the most important question is what happens after 20 years of marriage?

We have mentioned the top reasons and ideas on how to survive divorce after more than two decades of being together.

Falling out of love

A lot of couples have a great life together. They take great care of their family and kids, sharing the duties equally, but may have fallen out of love. This happens slowly over the years as they grow apart. The main reason is the pressure, challenges, and responsibilities of life. They might lose affection for each other. Many couples keep away from this truth for many years but eventually accept it after a long time. They get separated in search of their own happiness.

Lack of communication

This is a major reason which leads to separation. As time moves on, people are unable to express their love and affection toward one another. To be in a successful marriage, one should feel loved, cared for, and respected.

One of the partners is disloyal.

Infidelity is one of the main reasons for divorce in couples married for more than 20 years. No matter how old marriage is, cheating on your partner does not go well and will surely lead to divorce. Usually, this happens when partners lack intimacy and look elsewhere to fulfill their desires.

Lack of trust and lies

The main pillar of a great and healthy married life is being honest in your relationship. Lying to your partner about small things can create huge problems in the future. Even a minor lie can cause major issues, such as the partner questioning your basic honesty. May also lead to a lack of emotional attachment.

RELATED: How a Good-Enough Marriage Can Lead to a Great Divorce


What comes to mind is alcohol or drugs, but addiction can take many forms, including infidelity, extravagant spending, gambling, or even pornography. Addiction in a marriage could lead to one of the spouses cheating, stealing, lying, or in other words, breaking the foundation of the marriage. This is why addiction leads to divorce, even after a long time.

They never fell in love, to begin with

Sometimes people get married even without having love for each other. They may look happy for society or the children, but with no love, the marriage makes it difficult for people to live together and so they may opt for divorce after a long marriage.

Lack of freedom in marriage

A lot of women in the past have been dependent on their male partners and created financial independence as they grew old. This is most likely when children move out and start working again. When both the people in the marriage are independent, they can file for divorce easily without any financial issues they may face later.

Unsolved past issues

There may be many unresolved past issues that may resurface after several years. Couples hide their problems for the sake of kids, happiness, or social image, but after a long time, they are not able to live a fake life. The main things that resurface from the past can be a major fight, cheating align, an accident, various illnesses, and so on, which forced the couples to call it quits.

Also See: Dating After Divorce: Navigating The Single Scene Again

Old fashioned thinking

If one of the partners has old fashioned or orthodox mentality it can create problems between the couple which can lead them to divorce. One of the partners is often very stubborn about changing with time. On the other hand, one of the partners can be very progressive and updated with all the latest trends. When the mindset differs, it becomes impossible to stay together and connect. This leads to a divorce.

Abusive relation

It is impossible to stay in an abusive relationship with anyone. Everyone has a tolerance level and when the limit is crossed, it is time to walk away from the marriage. Abuses are not only physical; they can be mental, financial, emotional, or sexual.

Money disputes, outbursts of rage, and a variety of other negative behaviors can jeopardize a marriage. Sticking in an abusive relationship is not safe, and it’s better to move on, even after 20 years.

Professional failure

Professional failure can be harmful. Even after a very long and successful marriage, a failing partner feels they have lost their worth and despite many efforts, the stress of a failing career takes its toll on the marriage and may lead to divorce.

Different sexual desires

Sexual intimacy and preference are topics that many people don’t like to discuss with friends and family. Be made for many years to be courageous enough to openly ask their partner about their sexual preference. Such a big revelation will end in a divorce.

Children leaving home

The presence of kids in your house has a great positive effect. A home tends to be lively with kids that talk, laugh, joke, and fight, but suddenly become dull when they grow up and move away.

This becomes very different for the parents who are left alone with each other, and they come to know that they are very incompatible with each other. Kids play a key role in connecting with their parents, but when they are not around, even the couple may drift apart. Children who are not raised by the couple become an important factor in middle or late-life divorces.

In search of something better in life

Priorities change in life as decades pass by when the couple grows over the years. Those who undergo a midlife crisis are more likely to leave their partners in search of their new selves. They cannot stay under the same roof, and they move on in life.

Lack of communication

Some people fail to express their love and affection towards one another after staying together for many years. To be understood in any relationship is very important as you feel that your partner values your feelings and loves you as before. If any individual in the marriage is not showing love and affection or is emotionally unavailable to the other, it can lead to a divorce.

Divorce is more acceptable

nowadays15 to 20 years ago, getting a divorce was not acceptable due to family and parental pressure to stay in the marriage, but in the current scenario, divorce is more acceptable. So couples who were adjusting to family pressure are now more open toward their own feelings. and doesn’t want to disregard their unhappiness.

How to Survive a Divorce

  • What happens after 20 years of marriage when couples opt for divorce?Discuss your issues
  • divorce can be complicated after being together for a long time.
  • Discuss the complicated problem with your partner and make the process simple.
  • You can either speak directly to your partner or get professional help.
  • Take care of your finances.
  • After the separation, you have to deal with financial issues yourself. Plan your finances to avoid conflicts.
  • Give yourself some time
  • start focusing on yourself and your mental health after a divorce. Pamper yourself by visiting salons or having a massage, and you can also focus on nutrition and exercise. All this will help you overcome your emotional hardships.
  • Follow your passion
  • getting a divorce after 20 years of marriage changes a lot in your life. You can always take a break and don’t pretend to be OK if you are not. It’s not wrong to feel sad sometimes. Overcome your emotional turmoil by following your passion, which you never emphasized earlier, and even try something new that makes you happy.
  • Learn to forgive and forget

Also See : New Marriage after a Recent Divorce

If your divorce has not ended on a splendid note, you need to practice giving yourself and your ex. So that you can look forward to the betterment of your future with open arms.


In the above blog, we have discussed the main reasons for divorce and how to survive it. Avoid thinking about negative aspects and start a fresh life after a divorce. If you feel marriage is limiting your dreams and not meeting your expectations, have the courage to part ways because everyone has the right to be happy in their life.

Do not force yourself into an unhappy relationship and discover new horizons in life to be joyful.