Since you have well absorbed your new status of being engaged. No wonder that the only thought which you will be getting is of your big day. Question like ‘how to make the day more special?’ ‘How to plan ahead for the big day?’ ‘Which location to get wed-locked in?’ etc., will be there in your head all the time. And believe you me all these questions are natural for every engaged couple. How about people around you??? Especially your parents and in-laws. Relational strife are common in a wedding.
Undeniably there will be several occasions wherein you will feel completely exhausted during your wedding planning journey. Sometimes your own parents will not agree to what you say and other times your in-laws will have objection on the things that you do for your wedding. Anything can happen, conflicts with your parents, during the wedding or wedding planning are normal. But too much of them can really spoil the whole charm of your wedding, which is not a great idea. If you are also wondering how to deal with situations like this, then worry not. In this post I am sharing with you top 7 tips to avoid conflicts with parents during your wedding.
Here we go…
1. You don’t always need to react
Make it a rule of your life – Come what may, you will not react. Remember that your reactions or losing your temperament on any issue won’t help you find the solution for anything. Then what is the point getting angry or losing your temper. Getting mad on your parents or in-laws won’t help anyone, instead it will worsen the situation. Instead, choose to stay calm. Just take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s your special day you’re planning for!
2. Find out the real issue
Sometimes the real issue or the underlying reason for a disagreement or fight or conflict is so small that you’ll be surprised to know it. So, instead of reacting find the main reason out in the first place. The moment you’ll have the reason for the conflict you’ll know how to deal with it. Remember, without knowing the exact reason of conflict you can’t even attempt to resolve it. There is no point to do things at superficial level, sometimes you need to dig underneath to get a better understanding about the situation. Apply this approach, half of your situations will be under control during your wedding. Find the problem and then talk to the parents and resolve the problem.
3. Communicate with your spouse to-be
If something is related to your in-laws, then reacting to any situation or getting mad on your in-laws is not the solution. Instead you can choose to talk to your partner regarding that. Of course, when you choose a life partner you know that you can always rely on him/her. Remember that communication is the key to a successful and happy life. Even if something is disturbing you that is related to your parents and you are not able to find a solution for that, you can always talk to your future spouse about it and see if he/she may help you to resolve the issue.
4. Get your parents occupied
I am sure you must have heard this “An empty mind devil’s house”, yeah, similarly your parents who do not have anything to do in your wedding will definitely be disturbed. Or if there are issues between your parents and your in-laws it’s always good to get them occupied in some wedding related task that they can each take charge of. For instance, you can ask your parents to take care of wedding invites and your in-laws to undertake the wedding décor. Actually the idea is to get them involved in something so that they stay busy and create less issues. Also, like this you will not have to be responsible for everything, when your own people are indulged.
5. You don’t have to please everyone
Of course it is true that it’s your wedding, but conflicts during your wedding or wedding planning is very much normal, believe you me. Everyone will have their own opinions be it your parents, siblings, friends, in-laws etc. Your parents will tell you how should you celebrate your big day, your mother-in-law may tell you all her family’s rituals, your friends can guide you about your wedding gown, etc., etc., etc. But you always have to remember that you cannot satisfy everybody in your life. If you will try to please everyone at your wedding, you will end up tired, exhausted and extremely unhappy in your own wedding. What’s the point then??? It’s better to know in the first place that you don’t have to please everyone. It is your wedding and you have all the rights to celebrate it the way you have always wanted to.
6. Follow your heart
At the end of the day, this is your wedding, and you have all the rights to celebrate it the way you have always dreamt of it. The biggest decision maker during your wedding should be you, and not your parents or your in-laws for that matter. Yeah, we understand that the marriage is a union of two families and both the parties should have equal say in the wedding. But at the same time you should know that there is no fun in holding a wedding that leaves you distressed and unhappy. So, be firm about your decisions and choices, stay calm, and just be happy – it’s your wedding after all!!
7. Remember – You’re important
As I said earlier, planning a wedding is a stressful time, with or without conflicts. Therefore, it is crucial that you take care of yourself first. No matter what, you should always remember that you’re important in the process and you have to treat yourself the same ways as you treat something really important in your life.
Do things that can help you stay calm and composed during your wedding planning! You can either chose to join some meditation class or yoga sessions, or you can spend some quality time with your besties or your spouse to-be, you can take a short solo trip to rejuvenate yourself before your wedding, or you can de-stress yourself by spending time in reading, cycling or doing things that you really love to do. Also, it is important that you surround yourself with loving people who are there for you in the times of need, people who you can count on, the ones who don’t just tell you what to do, but who are really ready to listen and ask you what’s that you need. The idea is to have people who do not let you feel alone in your wedding planning journey or during the times when you are distressed.
To pan out…..
Your wedding is about you TWO, hence it is crucial that you focus on your relationship and bond more than anything. There is no point spoiling your relation because of other relational strife. There will be times during your wedding planning, when you two will have differences of opinion because of these relational strife or your parents or your in-laws, whatever. Do not let your bond and connection get affected because of anything! Stay strong, calm and supportive to each other.