Sometimes couples really want to elope as they find it really difficult to deal with their divorced parents. They know that any situation can arise if both their parents will be at the wedding. Of course, planning a wedding with divorced parents can really be troublesome. Some families may agree to put their differences aside on the wedding day, but not every divorced parents are sympathized with their son’s or daughter’s situation. Sometimes situations become so unbearable when they don’t want to stand each other even on their child’s wedding day. In fact, sometimes, emotions tend to peak around major family events-and your wedding is one amongst them, and everything gets even more complicated.
Of course, each couple wants to have a wedding that’s absolutely stress free and where there is no drama, which seems difficult in the case of divorced parents. Well, in this post we are sharing with you some tips to have a great wedding ceremony even with divorced parents.
Keep your parents updated.
The best time to make peace with your estranged parents is your wedding, you can always take advantage of this opportunity. While you plan for your wedding, the first step is to meet your parents in person and tell them about your wedding. You can meet them either alone or with your fiancé. This is a great chance to start a conversation with your estranged parents or divorced parents.
Inviting your divorced parents and your parent’s new spouse or partner.
Sometimes dealing with divorced parents can be very challenging. Sometimes they are so adamant that they do not want their ex-partner coming along with the new partner, one of your parents may insist you to have other parents without the present partner. In such a situation you should always try to speak to them and convince them for not putting something so unreasonable before you. You should always make your parents know that they are just complicating your situation in front of other parents by insisting you to do something like this.
Seating at the ceremony.
There are chances that your parents would agree to sit together, if it happens then it’s wonderful. But if at all both your divorced parents refuse to sit together at your wedding, you can have someone sitting between them as a buffer. Make sure that someone is common between them, I mean both of them know that some, he/she could be a grandparent, uncle or aunt, niece or nephew, or anybody else who could be a neutral party in your immediate family. Traditionally, your mother is supposed to be seated in the first seat on the aisle, closest to you. But in the case of divorced parents, it is however, good to seat the buffer person, or people, between the divorced parents. Even you can ask your father to sit in the first seat along the aisle of the second row. And his immediate family can also sit in the same row as well, while your mother’s immediate family can be seated in the front row along with her.
Walking a bride down the aisle.
Who will walk a bride down the aisle is the greatest dilemma when you have divorced parents. Well, if you are close to your father, then there will be no issue, but in case you are not, then you need to go with other alternatives in order to have smooth celebration.
If you are closed to your divorced parents, and if they agree you can always ask them to escort you down the aisle. And if you are a child raised by your stepfather, then you can always bestow this honor on him. And if both father and step father are present at the event and you are close to both of them, then you can have them both escorting you down the aisle. And if none of them agree or do not go along well, then it’s always better to have either your grandfather doing the favor or your brother escorting you down the aisle on your special day. If you find nobody to do the favor, you can consider walking yourself down the aisle, or ask your groom to escort you down the aisle. Go with your gut on this. Whatever you choose will be right. The idea is to have a drama-free wedding, and that can be done easily by accepting their situations and finding the midway that doesn’t hurt anyone in the process. Make sure you inform your father or the person escorting your down the aisle well in advance.
Bridal Dances at Wedding Reception
It can be really critical if you won’t pay attention to it in advance. Chances are that your announcer or DJ or Emcee will announce a dance of your parents as she/he has no idea that it is not going to happen ever. In such a situation it is always good to decide on the dances beforehand and keep your emcee or the announcer informed well in advance about the proceedings. Explaining the whole situation to your emcee or the announcer will help you avoid any kind of grief that may be caused unknowingly.
So far father-daughter dance is concerned, if you feel you are close to your stepfather who raised you and he deserves the honor of the father/daughter dance, then you need to tell this to your father well in advance. Or if you want you can plan a dance with both father and stepfather and for that you can simply dance with your father first; then mid-song, you can take your stepfather’s arm, thus honoring both men.
The idea is to hurt no one in the process and have smooth wedding celebration that makes everyone happy.
Again, this can be a bit critical, of course, your parents would not agree to come in the same frame. Or maybe your father would be adamant to have his girlfriend in the same picture. So, you have to be really very sensitive when it comes to wedding photography. Talk to your photographer in advance and explain him everything in advance. Let your wedding photographer have the list of family shots along with candid shots in advance. Also, ask both your parents if they accept for few shots together. If at all they agree that would be great for you, and if they don’t, then have them along with your stepparents in some of your wedding pictures. So far your parents’ casual girlfriend or boyfriend is concerned, you can ignore having them in your formal pictures. But make sure that you inform this to your father and mother well in advance so as to avoid any scene later.
Typically wedding toasts are done in a set manner, and your emcee may announce that order. If you think that your divorced parents are complicated enough, then better to have your best man toasting first. Or if your parents are hosting your wedding, then you can have them toasting for you. Well, there are many alternatives to go with so that there is no chaos and everything at the wedding goes smoothly.
To pan out…..
All of this may seem too much to you, but trust that these tips can really help you have a great wedding celebration with your divorced parents. Planning beforehand can help you avoid any unwanted situation and deal with even very complicated divorced parents at your wedding.