Gone are the days when marriages were considered a very important thing when a girl had no stand of her own when couples used to marry without seeing each other. Today, things are no more the same. We are living in modern India. The way we all look at marriage today is not the same as that of our parents and grandparents. However, our traditions and practices are the same, but the parameters of weddings have changed drastically. Now, women prefer to work even after their weddings; there are more nuclear families, etc. Not just that, even the divorce cases are going up, couples are living separately. So much has changed in the past few decades; hence, it is imperative that couples should focus on the following 9 things to discuss before marriage in India.
1. WORK-LIFE
Work has become an essential aspect of our daily lives. Today most women are working, and they do not want to leave their jobs. Hence, the couple must discuss everything related to their work, like the work environment and work schedules, etc. Doing so will keep them aware of the demands of each other’s jobs. In most marriages, the misunderstanding starts to happen with their work. Most of the time, their work-life becomes the reason for their insecurities or trust issues. If you are not looking for a working girl, talking about work-life will help you make the right decision. If you don’t discuss it in the beginning, it will be a problem later; there is no point in that. It is better to know before choosing someone for a lifetime.
2. WHERE WILL THEY LIVE
This is again an essential aspect of any marriage; hence, it should be discussed before the wedding. In many marriages, girls are fooled, and later such marriages either end with divorce or there is no love in the marriage. If you are planning to live with the joint family, let your partner-to-be know about it. Let her have no imagination about the different world. Most girls tend to build their dream world before their marriage, and what they get after their wedding shatters all their dreams, which in turn makes them absolutely changed person. So, it is better to be truthful to your partner and tell her in advance where you plan to live. And wives should also be truthful to their would-be partners. If you don’t want to live in a joint family, tell them in advance instead of creating chaos after the wedding.
As said earlier, we are living in modern India. There was a time when every expense related to the wedding was taken care of by the bride’s family. Even the discussions were held between the families. But today, it is not the same. The betrothed couple can discuss the wedding budget. It is imperative to talk about the money that will be spent on the wedding. You can always ask for opinions and decisions from the respective families. However, the final decision should be yours only. You can always decide the size of your wedding based on your wedding budget, in mutual agreement.
4. HEALTH MATTERS
Even today, people avoid talking on these matters; however, health matters need critical attention. It is recommended that each couple should discuss blood groups, ailments, allergies, previous surgeries, stress issues, mental health history, and other health issues. This important because it is going to impact your overall life. Of course, marrying a person with some long term health problem or mental health issue can cause a disturbance in life. If any of the people have some medical problem which is kept hidden, later when the other person will know, it will lead to a bigger mess. Both of you will never be able to lead a happy married life. It is better to discuss health matters before marriage. Also, sometimes these health problems affect sex life, which is again messier. So, it is essential to discuss and settle all the matters related to health and sex life in advance.
If you two belong to different caste, religion, community, or nationality, then it is important to discuss the religious preferences too. When you are in love, religion doesn’t matter, but when you marry, things change. So, it is better to discuss things in advance. Your religious views and traditions should not be the reason for any clash after marriage. So, it is better to discuss whether you will practice the same religion or that of your husband. Also, the same should be talked about your children, as they too will have to choose their faith. Discussing this in advance will help you have a happy married life.
6. FINANCIAL MATTERS
This is A MUST point to discuss. Here you need to talk about the money that you two will be generating each month. And how you will divide the money between the partners, and what are your investment plans (both long term and short term investment plans). Believe it or not, if you are financially stable, it becomes easy to lead a good life.
7. CHILDREN
Today, most couples want to have children only after they are settled. Some couples don’t want to have kids. So, it becomes crucial to discuss this too with your partner-to-be. Whether you want kids or not, and after how many years of marriage, you would want to decide on it- discuss beforehand. Of course, you do not wish to have surprises just after the wedding. Because if your partner has a different opinion about kids, it may create disturbance in your married life. Family planning is critical in today’s scenario; if that’s not there, your whole life will go into a toss.
8. EATING HABITS
You may be absolutely vegetarian, and the girl you are going to marry may be non-vegetarian, discuss it in advance. Eating habits may seem a small matter to deal with, but sometimes it can be messier. Most people don’t discuss it at all, and later they keep poking each other for their eating habits. In India, people are very sensitive about their faith. Anything against their faith can cause a disturbance. If you are fond of eating non-vegetarian food, tell this beforehand.
9. PAST ISSUES
Different people will have a different opinion on this. However, if you feel that the new partner should know about your past affairs or relationships, then tell him/her. This is a very sensitive topic because each person has a different thought process. Of course, having clarity beforehand is really very important. Moreover, if your partner comes to know about your past from someone else, it would be a bigger problem later. Just to avoid all these possibilities and to come out clear with your past issues, you can always discuss the same with your new partner.
FINAL THOUGHT
So, these are the nine things to discuss before marriage in India. Talking these things in advance will help you have a smooth ride ahead. The rate at which divorce cases are rising in India, it becomes imperative to discuss all this before marriage. So that tomorrow you are not dealing with misunderstandings and insecurities.
