Wow!!! Finally you are going for your first date with your partner to-be after your engagement, and I am sure you must be excited for the date. However, for some, first dates can be uncomfortable, but for few it is whole lot of new and memorable experience for the life. I am sure you might be wondering, how the whole thing will turn out to be for you. You might even wonder what to do on a first date to make it memorable and enjoyable, especially when yours is an arranged marriage.
There will be couples who will only thing of their looks, what to wear, and how to impress the partner to-be. However, your first date after your engagement is more than that, there is so much more involved in making the first date an experience for the life time. Well, if you are wondering what is that required for making a date a perfect date, then this article is meant for you. You are on the right page!! Here are some best tips for you to make your first date after your engagement, a perfect experience for both.
General First Date Tips for Everyone
1. Meet in a nice place
Make sure you two are meeting in a decent place or restaurant. You should never plan a movie on your first date, because you don’t know each other’s choice of movies and hence it’s not a great idea to go for a movie. Meet in a decent place, which is not so crowded that you need to shout to get each other heard.
2. Keep your first date short
Yes, after engagement couples want to meet for longer duration, but it is recommended to meet for a nice short period. You should always try not to stretch your date for long. Initially you can plan for a coffee date.
3. Don’t be too inquisitive
Yes, it is necessary that you don’t behave too inquisitive and impatient in your first date. Give yourself and your partner to-be some time to settle down. It is for the first time you two are meeting after your engagement. Believe that there will be many such dates in future before your wedding. You will enough time to ask and know everything about each other. Also, don’t ask very personal questions in the first go.
4. Your body language
Yes, it matters. Your body language matters a lot, so make sure you don’t feel nervous and panic or over excited. As, all these may leave a negative impact on your partner. So, it is crucial that you make good eye contact with your partner (don’t stare, it will leave the other person nervous). Also, avoid a defensive posture by crossing your arms over your chest, or playing with your hair, looking around the room, or playing with your keys or anything. Simply smile often and lean in when your partner is speaking, and show you are engaged and interested.
5. Avoid too much touching
It’s okay that you are meeting your partner to-be, still there has to be some limitation. Too much of touching and grabbing in the first date itself will leave an impression that you are only interested in physical relationship and nothing else.
6. Avoid using your phone unless it is important
This is very important, it should not happen that your partner to-be is speaking something and you are busy checking your messages on whatsapp or maybe your facebook profile. It should never happen, if you do so, you are clearly avoiding the person and giving impression that you’re not interested or least bothered. You first date is actually meant for you two, so that you two can know each other a little better.
7. Be present and comfortable!
When you are there with your partner to-be, be there completely. Don’t just look here and there, or physically there but mentally somewhere else. It should not happen. When you are there just be there. Give your 100% attention to the talks, be part of the conversation, and be comfortable.
8. Share but don’t overshare
It is your first date and you have to see what all to share. There is no problem in sharing things but oversharing can cause issues, which is not good at all. See, whatever happened in past may not be important today, and there is nothing to do with your past, if there is nothing so serious about it. Just behave normally. Don’t be in hurry to blabber things out. Your date is meant to enjoy and have fun. Sharing too much too soon is a turnoff as your partner to-be may think there is more weirdness under the surface.Share only that much information that unveils the type of person you are, your interests, and your personality, but save your crazy side for later meetings.
9. Don’t focus on eating only
Some people literally start grabbing eatables the moment they see them, you don’t do that. Be patient nobody is taking your eatables from the table once they are there. Be mindful while eating, behave properly in front of your date. It is crucial, it will leave either positive or negative impression about you.
10. Be yourself
You don’t need to pretend anything on your first date after your engagement, for a simple reason that later you are going to marry, and then the person will know everything. So, it’s good that you behave yourself in your date. Don’t try to act something else who you are not, even if you pretend you cannot go like that for long. So, it is always good to start in an authentic and real manner. Your date should not be misleading. The goal of dating after engagement is to meet the person and develop the confidence in the person, you are going to settle your life with. And confidence can only be build when you are real with your partner to-be.
11. Relax and have fun
This is your first date make sure you enjoy every bit of it, as it is going to be in your memories for your lifetime. Relax and have lot of fun with the person you are going to marry.
Tips for Women!
12. Don’t overdo anything
You have to make sure that you don’t overdo anything. Even when you are getting ready wear something comfortable and something which suits your personality. Your purpose is not impress the person, but to look good and absolutely you in your first date.
13. Establish appropriate physical contact
If your partner to-be seems shy, you can establish appropriate physical contact with the person. Like a side hug can be good enough. Or if he tries to hold your hand for the first time then you should feel comfortable and don’t push him backwards. If your partner to-be is trying a hug then be comfortable. Just make sure nothing is overdone.
14. Be polite
Chances are you must have not liked something in the engagement, may be your mother-in-laws behavior or your sister-in-laws attitude towards your family or guests. Do not make complaints. Making complaints or talking only negative about his family may leave him confused and shocked. Sometimes it’s good to ignore things which happened during an event, because it is now happened and you can’t do anything about it now.
15. Be positive
It is seen that people who are more positive end up having great time and fun during a date. So, make sure you are positive and enthusiastic in your date. It should not happen that leave impression from your expressions that you had to come forcefully, or you should not behave disinterested in the person. Le you partner know that you were equally interested in the date. Otherwise it will leave a wrong message to your partner to-be.
16. Don’t tell stories about your family and friends
Don’t mind but girls are relatively more talkative, and when they start they don’t see the boundaries where to stop. It is good that you are chirpy and full of life, but you have to know that the other person you are meeting may not be interested in knowing stories about others. He may probably be interested in knowing about you and to build a bond between the two.
17. Ask only positive questions
It is crucial you ask positive question from your partner to-be. Also, it is most important that you don’t ask questions from his past, like; how many girlfriends you had in the past? Rather you can ask about his favorite vacation or maybe about his favorite book or movie. Like this you would be able to understand a bit about him.
18. Forget about your itemized wish list
Of course you must be having a wish list since childhood about your dream partner, possibilities are there that the person is not a complete match of that wish list. But, know that nothing in this world is according to how we imagine; rather, know your partner and see the positives.
19. Watch your alcohol consumption
If you are meeting in a pub or some such place, make sure you control your alcohol consumption and do not over drink. Decent behavior is a must.
20. Be Like the Date You Want to Have
Remember, it is not your partner’s sole responsibility to make your date or time perfect, instead together you can make it a success. Your effort are also equally required to make this date a perfect date. Keep your phone away and engage in conversation with your partner. Just don’t answer when he asks, instead, be communicative, ask questions and be attentive.Show your complete interest in his life by using your active listening skills and try to relate to what he is saying. Also, when he pays for the date, be appreciative and gracious.
21. Laugh, express yourself
Laughing and expressing yourself to your partner is a quickest way to a connection. You two may have opposite senses of humor, it may be a barrier in the long run. You may find his sense of humor to be offensive or juvenile.On the contrary, it is good to hear your partner genuinely and laugh in a manner that you know truly touches them. Moreover, talk about things which may bring up a few laughs. You may talk thing you find to be hilarious.
22. Be truthful
Don’t hide and don’t pretend or act something else. Be yourself, talk about things which are real about you. How all you did, what all you did in life. How you evolved to be a better person. Be communicative rather talkative.
23. Don’t be blunt
More often than not, women usually become a little blunt if something hits them. Make sure you do not react or become blunt when anything like this happen. Also, while asking questions do not just put forward a blunt question, in fact try to frame them in a way that your question look sober and decent. For an instance, if you want to know what your partner does on weekends, ask like, “during this free time in your week, are you visiting your friends or family? Something like that…
Tips for Men!
24. Be confident
Yeah, Grooms to-be, you need to be confident in your first date. Every woman likes a man who is confident, flexible, and thoughtful enough to consider his partner’s desires during the date. Also, when you decide the venue of date, your partner to be also has a say in it.
25. Be a Gentleman
Being gentleman during a date doesn’t at all mean to behave in old-fashioned gentlemanly manner. However it simply means to treat the lady equally, open doors, pull out her chair, and make payment if you have initiated the date. Usually, women notice this and certainly appreciate it.
26. Be Communicative/Interactive
You have just taken your partner to-be on a date and you are busy in your phone, messages etc., will leave your partner in a confused state whether you are interested in her or not. So, it is not only woman’s task to be interactive and show interest and stay engaged. However, it is your duty as well to be present, to show that you are interested and engaged. Moreover, the most important first date tips is to communicate both before and after your date.
27. Be Curious
Learn about your partner’s interest in advance, try to know what kind of places she would want to go for her first date. Make arrangements accordingly. Also, being curious help you take your conversation in an appropriate direction. Your woman will be more inclined towards you and would want to know more about you. Talk about each other’s ideal experiences or long-term goals to get to know one another. About each other’s dream, try to know things which you two share in uncommon and the areas where you differ. Based on that later you will be able to plan your honeymoon (long term planning ).
28. Don’t boost about yourself
You might have achieved so much in your life, but mind you this is not the right time to brag about yourself. If you will only talk about yourself and about your achievements in your first date with your woman, she will surely not like it too much. Make sure you keep such things for other days. Your date should be for both; and hence, you should make sure that it is more of interactive for both and you two make your date a perfect date.
29. Your demeanor matters
Make sure you dress in a way that you look nice. Wear something that is comfortable and something that will make your feel comfortable. Dress according to the place of your date, and make sure that style of your outfit is fit for the occasion and you feel confident in it. Remember, women are tend to notice the smallest of details of your clothes. Make sure you look presentable. Dress yourself nicely!
30. Enjoy your date and have fun.
Don’t be nervous on your first date, just take few deep breaths and go for your perfect date. However, it is okay if you feel a bit nervous, especially when it is your first date. Be calm and be yourself on your first date, feel comfortable and try to enjoy your date to the fullest. Make sure you make your first date the perfect date and memorable for the lifetime.