Some think that getting hitched is the happy ending, NO, it is not. In fact, it is the beginning of your new life and new journey altogether, wherein you will face many challenges. Of course, you may find word challenges a little weird here. But the truth is every marriage comes with its own share of challenges. And how the first year of your wedding goes determines the overall success of your married life. Yeah, it is true, whether you believe it or not.
Wedding is a mix of both the world, especially the first year of your marriage. Either one can have the most beautiful first year of marriage or the most stressful first year of wedding. When I say beautiful, it does not at all mean that you won’t have problems, issues, or challenges in it. In fact, you will have every challenge or problem, but you will be able to deal with them. And that’s an art, which nobody can teach you, in fact you can only learn with time.
Still, here are some tips to deal with the pressure and challenges that one can face in the first year of the marriage and have a stress free 1st year.
Here we go…
1. Communication is the key
First things first, always remember that communication is the key to a successful and stress free relationship, be it your wedding or any other relationship. If you miss out on this part, believe you me it will be very difficult later. More often than not, people hold back, they don’t communicate, they rather ignore things and gradually they find that a small little problem turned to a pile of problems. Of course, we humans tend to burst out when things go beyond our control. And not communicating means you are trying to ignore something that you really don’t like. How long can you stay with something that you don’t like, of course there will be a limit to it. So, don’t wait for some miracle to happen, instead talk, and sort it out! That’s all!! Half of the things can be sorted out by just communicating.
2. Be respectful to each other
Whether yours is an arranged marriage or love marriage, whether your spouse is working or a housewife, don’t be disrespectful to each other. See it’s very simple, respect has nothing to do with somebody’s age, gender, class, background, each one of us deserves respect, and thus we should be respectful to each other. It doesn’t matter how much you love your partner, if you’re disrespectful to your partner all your love is waste. Because somewhere you will be creating a ditch that you won’t be able to see immediately but it comes out in the shape of stress and pressure that ultimately ruins relationships. Even in extreme anger be respectful to each other. And I tell you first year of your marriage is very crucial period of your life, it actually determines your future as a couple. So, be wise!
3. All we need is love and care
Believe you me, even if you are able to bring every costly item for your partner but you don’t show love and care, all that you do is waste. Because we all need love and care at a certain level. Especially in the initial stage of our marriage. If there is no love and care for each other, you will start feeling bored, saturated, disturbed, stressed, and exhausted at the end. What’s the point!
4. Respect each other’s differences
Remember that no two people can be the same, not even siblings. So, it is important that you respect each other’s differences. For instance, if your wife doesn’t like partying too much, but you like partying then there is nothing wrong. There is always a midway, you can simply enjoy a Saturday party with your friends and spend a great night and Sunday with your wife. You don’t need to fight over it.
5. Give each other breathing space
Remember that your spouse is your other half or partner, but not your slave or servant. See, you may find this one a little weird but it is actually true, some people tend to treat their spouse just like their slaves. The feel pride in binding their partners from doing things that they love to do in their lives. Binding someone from living his/her life completely simply means creating a feeling of disappointment and discouragement, which leads to stressful situations in marriage. Trust each other and give each other breathing space so the people do not feel bound. Believe you me, giving enough space leads to really great relationships.
6. Be passionate on bed
Yes, it is really very important. First of your marriage is to know each other how you two are as a person. Sex is one such activity that you two will not only enjoy, but also it will bring you two close to each other. And yeah, it is important that you practice good sex, you are passionate about each other. Trust that sex is not a one way thing, it is in fact a two way thing. It needs equal participation from two people. Be passionate, try out something new that will help you maintain the charm and goodness of newly married couple.
7. Do not cling
Some people actually love to cling, especially brides. They won’t go out alone, they simply dedicate their lives to their husbands. You don’t need to do all that. You actually don’t need to lose yourself in the process. However, people like doing this but after sometime these things create problems. Be free, be you!! Becoming a wife, or husband does not just mean that your life is over now. Married life is part of your complete life. It is just a part that you have live or play with the other parts. And one who knows how to have balance can lead a great and successful life in all the spheres.
8. Don’t whine about everything
Nobody likes whining characters, trust me! A person can tolerate once or twice or may few more times but after that nobody will. You may have many complains about everything after your wedding, but always making complains only takes your relationship to the wrong direction, where coming backing seems impossible after sometime. If you really have some complaints, first you need to understand “is it so big a complaint?” For instance, your maid didn’t come for two days in a row, or you couldn’t go out for your Sunday dinner since your spouse was busy, or whatever. Are these issues too big??? I mean are these issues seriously sound like too big to handle kind of things. I don’t think so! So likewise whenever you have some complain, first understand is it really worth it? If not, just find a solution, that’s all. Believe you me, people who focus on solutions get solutions even in the worst of situations, and the ones who focus on problems can make a small situation a worst ever situation! So, be mindful!
9. Share your responsibilities
You can’t leave everything on one person’s head. You have to be equally responsible for household chores. Especially men need to understand this, some men really think that this is not their job, which is a bad mindset. In fact, every person living in the house should have a sense of responsibility towards daily household chores. Also, sharing responsibility help you develop love and affection for each other, which is important. You learn to care for each other. For instance, if your wife is working late at night, you can cook the meal, she will feel cared and pampered.
10. Cherish small little things
Those who believe that happiness comes with the big things only, are really mistaken. Because if we put our happiness on a standby then definitely we will ignore small little things that we have and achieve in our lives. For two people who have just married it is important to cultivate this habit of cherishing small little things, as this brings happiness along with the sense of praise for each other’s efforts.
11. Be social
Getting married does not at all means that you have to disconnect with the world and stay cocooned. In fact, it means that your social circle has increased or widened. Meet your friends, invite them for dinners or tea parties, and spend time with your loved ones, your family members. Take efforts to make each other comfortable in your respective circles. Disconnecting from the world is no solution, because tomorrow when you will need these people, you may not get them as they were earlier.
12. Don’t miss to give compliments to each other
People ignore the power of compliments, trust me even a small gesture of compliment can make your day. Really! So, don’t miss to give compliments to each other. For instance, if your wife is looking beautiful in her new dress, let her know that. Similarly, if your husband cooked a nice meal for you on Sunday, tell him that you loved the food. It will help you two have a great bonding!
13. Indulge in some common activity
Researchers say that indulging in a common activity helps couple to build a strong relation. And believe you me, you can only build strong relations in the initial years of your marriage not after that. Because that’s the time when you two are sailing in the same boat, having no idea about each other, understanding each other, and knowing each other. All your efforts that you will take in the initial years of your marriage will help you have a strong bond later. So, to be stress free, indulge in some common activities, like gardening, cooking, hiking, travelling, exercising, cycling, etc. You can choose anything that is common between you two. And see your relation will rock forever!
14. Be responsible to your finances
Finance is one such topic that can create chaos in any relationship on this earth, believe you me! So, it is crucial that you two are on the same page when it comes to finances. How you used to spend before your wedding is past now, how you should spend and save for your future is what you need to think and plan together. Spending money strategically just after your marriage is not foolish, rather it is wise. Of course, weddings are pricey affairs and going lavish immediately after your wedding is not wise.
15. Avoid comparison completely
If you tend to compare two people, then know that you will end up having a very bad married life or any relationship for that matter. Comparisons work as slow poison, you believe it or not. When you compare people they feel bad, they feel discouraged, they feel inferior, they feel they are good for nothing, etc. And gradually they lack confidence in everything, even in their relationship. So, there is no point to compare. Most importantly, no two people are ever the same. So why should you compare, as I said earlier, respect each other’s differences.
16. Stay away from your gadgets!
Last but not least, it is very important. People who spend most of their time on their phones, TVs, laptops, etc. especially for entertainment miss on real life entertainment. Every couple should make efforts to spend time with each other, rather than spending time on their phones. Trust me, your phone or your FB account will not give you anything except the pressure and stress. So stay away from all kind gadgets and social media that brings stress and pressures, instead spend quality time with your spouse. Talk your heart out to each other, eat, make love etc. Believe you me, there are so many ways you can enjoy your life together. In fact, you will enjoy more without gadgets. I mean of course I am not asking you to stop using them permanently! It’s just avoid using them when you two are together.
Believe it or not, the first year of your marriage is the time when you actually create a strong foundation of your married life. So, it is important that you don’t take anything and each other for granted. Do respect each other and indulge in things or habits that will help you have a happy and content married life. Be peaceful, be mindful, be respectful, be patient, be honest, be loyal, and be YOU!!